So...how many of you thought I was done writing? Because I was right there with you.
It has been, to say the least, a very busy month and a half.
I costume designed a show and realized freaking hard it is to do that and have now realized that costume designing is probably not in my future. I love making costumes and designing them but I just don't think I am cut out for large productions; maybe I'll just stick with Halloween and cons.
I'm settling into married life, which has been great! But...also rather undramatic? I mean, we've talked and had the usual 'getting to know how to live with another person' moments but I guess I thought when one got married there was suppose to be some seismic shift in the relationship and you. I haven't noticed that; maybe that is a good thing! But it's still strange...but I will say that I could not have gotten through the last month without him...he's my goofy solid rock always down for beer and Netflix. Okay-semi- mushy part over.
I started a documentary! Well, I started fundraising and contacting people about a documentary I'm producing! It's called Today I Feel and it explores how media affects women in all of the aspects of our lives. The tagline is:
"In a world that preaches Love Yourself but shows you everything but, how are you suppose to become the person you're meant to be?"
This idea has been in my head for a long time. I'm talking junior year of college long time. And I'm finally brave enough to do it! Or...so sick of not getting work that I've decided to create my own. Both are valid reasons.
Running has been...challenging. I haven't been running nearly enough to be truly competitive in my upcoming 5k and I just feel lazy. Stuck. Gross. I've gained some weight since the wedding and while it's not a huge amount, it's starting to bother me. But I'm not trying to do anything about it which also pisses me off because I can't figure out a way to get myself motivated again. Part of me thinks it's so two faced of me to be making a documentary about loving yourself and then wishing I could lose some weight. And truly it is not a lot, 5-10 lbs at most. But I just don't feel fit anymore; but I don't exert any energy to try to get fit. I wish I could grab myself by my own shoulders and yank me out of this circle...but I can't. Maybe one day..but not yet.
I'm trying to not get discouraged with my lack of acting gigs right now...but I'm facing the horrendous face that I may not be that good of any actress...or that there are some really talented girls out there (and I've met quite a few of you so no DENYING THIS FACT). And that's a scary thought because I really can't see myself but this. I know patience is a huge thing and I'm trying but...this is my blog and I'll vent if I want to I guess.
So...that's it I guess. My rundown. I really want to get back to Minnesota. I want to do right by people with my documentary. I've been busy and my husband is amazing. I bet most of you were wishing I just wrote that instead of all this.
Oh well.
Until next time, keep running strong!
Actress on the Run
